Long winded is fine very keeps us from asking questions to get the whole story.

How well do you trust and know the shops and dealerships you took the car to? I would fix it one more time at the shop I trust the most, and if something goes wrong take it back again. You might even get it fixedx cheaper as they should have noticed in the first place. I'm not sure what could be tearing your suspension up unless you somehow had a bent frame or the suspension mounting locations were messed up somehow. HAd a truck with a bent frame for a while, it tore through ball joints.